ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im six kinds of drunk right now
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
