there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
and she was petting her beer can
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
