We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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