So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
