Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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