Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
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When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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