He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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