apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
