I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize