Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
