A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
