turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
