We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
