hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
