I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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