Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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