I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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