i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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