maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
