One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
