I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
