i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
