I think im going to throw up on grandma
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
