At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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