with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
