so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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