from now on my penis is your penis
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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