nut hugger
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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