is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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