forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
