i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
