Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
