don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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