By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
