Your tits are I can't wait for
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
