I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
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Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
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Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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