hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What a dumb baby whore.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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