dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
