can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
