How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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