The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
