She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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