We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
