Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
