I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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