By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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