I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
