i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
