My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
