Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
