I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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