my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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