I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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