Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
