im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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