I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize