Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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