I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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