ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
