it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
