People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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